Medicare Cutbacks

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'


'Mrs.Sanders, please.'


'Speaking.'


'Mrs.Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When
your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy
from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain
which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results
are not too good.'


'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.



'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the
other one tested positive for HIV.We can't tell which is
which.'


'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned
Mrs.Sanders.


'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive
tests one time.'


'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'


'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off
somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't
sleep with him.'

My 50 something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the internet. Our first move was to access the popular Ask Jeeves site, and we told her it would answer any question she had.

Nancy's mother seemed very skeptical until Nancy said "It's true, mom. think of something to ask it."

As I sat with my fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought for a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen doing?"


When I worked as a medical intern in a hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent. It took a while before I understood that he had no health insurance. Since he was a World War veteran, I had him transferred to a VA hospital, where he would be eligible for benefits.

The next day, my patient was back along with this note from the VA admitting nurse: "Right war, wrong side."